Wednesday, 15 September 2010

The Coffee Debate - Royal Rumble of the Big Guns for Your Business

Let's get ready to vibrate! (Mind out of the gutter you few twisted sickos!) A ritual for a lot of people is the morning cup (or pot) of coffee to start their day. I can't deny that first cup of coffee is a large part of my day. Back in my freight working days, a supervisor would walk into the office, take one look at me and ask if the cup of wake up juice I was drinking was my first. If it was, he'd maintain eye contact, slowly back out of the office, and tell me to call him when I was on my second... I had him well trained I'd say. (Imagine the worst crab of your life and multiply it by 5, that's how crotchety I am prior to the consumption of my first cup of java of the day.) This post isn't a competition or debate of who can out crab who... It's about where you get your cuppa Joe from.

Every one's got their favorite, whether it be 7-Eleven, Tim Horton's (Timmy Ho Ho's), Second Cup or Starbucks. (Could be McDonald's, your own home brew or any other place I haven't mentioned.) I'm not much on Second Cup coffee, their "coffee flavoured coffee" is terrible in my opinion. Starbucks, similar fate, their coffee is terrible and it's highly over priced. When I head for McDonald's, I guarantee it's not for their coffee - its for a laxative grease ball burger. I can make a mean pot've coffee at home... Guaranteed it's cheaper, but truth be told - I'm lazy and I'm a Timmy's junkie. My coffee preference has hinged on what's most convenient in proximity to where I work. (As I've mentioned in posts past, I'm a loser cruiser rider... It's not like I can stop where ever I want on the way to work.) So my coffee preference lies with either Tim Horton's or 7-Eleven as they are the two places that have coffee that hit the palate right.

There's a Starbucks on every corner, not so much true in the "City of Champs" but there are a fair number. I remember Lewis Black doing a joke or two regarding Starbucks being across from another Starbucks and the geniuses that built it that way. While I was in Whistler, and that place is village sized, they had a grand total of 3 separate Starbucks locations. Tim Horton's had just sold their Whistler location to Starbucks for their third store roughly 6 months prior to the Winter Olympic games... (sacrilege in my opinion! Tim Horton's is very Canadian, and the closest Tim's location without driving all the way down to Vancouver was a little town called Squamish... Squamish, while having a beautiful backdrop, reminded me of an overgrown trailer park and brought to mind all the stereo types that go along with a trailer park... No offence Squamish Citizens.)

7-Eleven coffee... I don't mind to toss up the coffee routine every so often. Dennis Leary does a joke or two about 7-Eleven coffee flavored coffee and employees. Love it. Any how, there is a 7-Eleven within walking distance to my dwelling, and if I feel so inclined, I can run there prior to crawling my half asleep ass on the bus before heading to work. I was having a serious case of the Mondays on Monday of this week.... I missed my bus by seriously less than a minute and would have to catch the next one 15 minutes later... This meant I could get to work on time still, unless I decided to get coffee from Tim's that day.... After a moment's thought, I waddled across the street to 7-Eleven instead. After doctoring up my coffee in the travel mug I'd brought, I waited in line to pay for my morning caffeine potion. The coffee cost me seriously $0.02 less than if I had gone to Tim Horton's... And I had to make it myself... What kind of bunk is that?!?! Anyhow, it was nice to have a change and to get to work on time.

The fascination with Tim Horton's never ceases to amaze me... Mind you, as I've admitted, I'm a Timmy Ho Ho's junkie... If there was ever a support group... You'd probably see me there... And the lady I dragged in kicking and screaming with me (and made the best time doing a 100-yard dash towards the door proclaiming that she didn't have a problem) would be my Mum. (Sorry Mum, your not so secret, secret's out - world wide.) I am bad, but not as bad as my Mum. I won't stand in line for 10 minutes (unless I'm with her) for a dang cup of coffee.... No dice dude, not that hardcore. There's rumours that Tim's has put Cocaine in their coffee.... If you knew my Mum, you'd probably believe it... No it's not pick on my Mummy day... If you also saw the line-ups, both inside and at the Drive-Thru, you'd definitely believe it.

The little Tim Horton's near my work is in a ridiculous structure. It's in a corner of a lot near a major intersection here in E-Town... I have seen the Drive-thru line backed up to and onto the street and a car or two holding up a lane of traffic because they're too lazy to go park instead of waiting in the drive-thru line up. (This isn't the only location I've seen this happen....) I've also seen the line that can comfortably accommodate about 5 - 7 people inside, curl around to the door and outside. People are willing to jam like sardine's inside to the point the customers are tripping over each other and quite frankly so are the staff that are trying to work so fast to keep the line ups moving. The lucky, or unlucky ones depending on how you look at it, who don't make it inside and are forced to wait outside in the elements. I've seen the line so long that about 6 people have been waiting outside. (So far we've been lucky and it hasn't gotten too cold or snowed yet... It's coming soon though and guaranteed 7-Eleven will see a lot more of my sullen face in the AM.)

Christmas Eve last year, my Mum begged, pleaded and whined to my Dad enough that he stopped at Timmy's on our way to Salmon Arm, BC from Vernon, BC. (Yep, the poor, poor buggers at Tim's that day!) I waited in the car with Dad as Mum ventured inside. After about 5 minutes Dad started snorting a bit and shaking his head... About 10 minutes into the wait for Mum to emerge, I thought his head was about ready to explode... Just as I was going to head in to see if she got lost or held hostage or something, Mum came out toting the cups of caffeine juice. It's a good thing she come out when she did, I think Dad was about to put the car in gear and peel outta there, leaving Mum to walk to Salmon Arm. (Dad hates Tim Horton's coffee and'll drink it if there's no other option... He prefers the home brew or 7-Eleven elixer.)

While I was a student at Grant Mac, here in Edmonton, Tim Horton's had two stores on campus. (I'm talking the downtown "main" campus, I can't speak for any other Grant Mac Location.) Well, my comsumption went from a cup or two of coffee a day to seriously three or four. Another fact, whether it's true or not I'm not sure, is that an extra large triple triple from Tim's has the equivalent fat/calorie content to a Big Mac from Mickey D's.... Do the math... Gross... At any rate, I was a student, I was eating less and drinking more coffee to cram for tests and writing papers... and I gained weight rather than losing it... Maybe there is a l'il truth there.

Point of the matter is, no matter where you get it from, Coffee seems to make the world go round. It's not always about me, but when it comes to a speedier coffee line.... Maybe it should be!

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