It's Not Always About Me: Family

Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Fraissard: An Aussie-Canadian Bushman

While growing up, classmates only half believed that I had family from the Land Down Under.... When I started to bring in little gifts from the Aussie family, for show and tell - they were a little more ready to believe me. It's been years since I've done a show and tell presentation in front of a class, but today I'd like to do a little show and tell, again... This time with my cousin, Dominique Fraissard's music. I've always known him as Nick, but I hear he goes by Dom these days - can't fear change, just gotta roll with it. =0)

The first real memory I have of my great Aussie cousin, Dom/Nick, was the Christmas after I turned 8. I remember him playing the didgeridoo in my Aunty's basement and remember thinking "Man, this guy's a bit CRAZY!" He was full of energy and life - rockin' out on the "doo" and putting on a bit of a show for the family. Soon the holiday was gone, and the Aussie Relies had to go back to their real lives back in Oz.

A few years back, I was able to make it back to Vernon during the summer. It must have been perfect timing, as Nick was putting on a performance at a local coffee shop. (The coffee shop actually was my favorite cafe when I was in high school.) The evening of the performance, a bunch of my family packed into the Bean Scene, on the main drag in Vernon, and were entertained for about an hour or so. I was blown away by the depth of the lyrics and the enthusiasm of performance. Though Nick had always been talented, the performance was way more serious than the didgeridoo memory from years earlier.

With an indie/folk/roots sound flowing from my CD player, I had driven my then-roommate to distraction. She'd told me that if I played "that" disc one more time, she was going to snap it in half for me... It wasn't always that way though. When I had first got the CD - from my Aunt who happens to be Dom's Mum - the roommate would wander into my room and hang out to listen to a song or two. The down fall was only having one of Dom's discs - maybe a little variety would've avoided the threat. In the end, she didn't snap the disc... I still listened to the music and really enjoyed it. I still need to acquire a few of Dom's discs but there are ways to keep up on the new stuff... (Like checking out a link or two listed at the bottom of this post. You will also be able to find songs are available for purchase on iTunes. Definatelly worth a listen!)

I've had the fortune of hanging out with Dom in a non-music setting as well. I remember one visit where a few Canadian cousins all went boating on Okanagan Lake. Very entertaining.... A few days later, Dom had wanted to re-explore some of what he'd remembered of his Canadian childhood.... So again, a few Canadian cousins and Dom (and his Aussie friends) went for a hike across from Bluenose Mountain in Lumby... Embarrassingly, I was completely out of shape and had to decend as the rest of the crew went further to the top... (It was a good time still though!) While I was living in Edmonton, Dom had come in to see the Fringe Festival. (The Fringe is a festival centered around the performing arts - more specifically plays.) I had met him for a drink at a pub called the Next Act. From what I gathered, he enjoyed the experience.

My post originally from April 6th - Humble in a Moment - is actually the Dom we are speaking of. (I have since removed the post and re-posted on June 10th called Humble Lake - as I preferred this version better.) He's got a voice of his own, has pursued his dream and I sincerely hope he makes it to the top. With inspiration drawn from his childhood in Australia and Canada (and various other experiences of course) mixed with the artistic trait that runs in his family, Dom is out there doing what he loves. I know he's passionate about music and seems to enjoy the process of things. His hard work, over the years, has started to pay off. This year, now that he's residing in the Interior of BC, Nick has been nominated in the BC Interior Music Awards. He's one of the top three finalists in four categories: The People's Choice, Best World/Roots Album of the Year, Best Folk/Traditional Album of the Year and Best Producer. My fingers are crossed as the People's Choice Voting deadline has just recently past - that this year's winner will be Dom. (As well as the other three categories he's been nominated for.) Over the Easter Long Weekend the awards will be presented.

It's not always about me; sometimes it's about supporting the family in any way we can.

Places to Get Fraissard News

Monday, 13 December 2010

Pulling a George, BC Style

I'd like to start this post by apologizing for the lack of December Entries. A lot of what seems like nothing has kept me from posting. I will definitely attempt to go back to the old ways of posting almost every day. So let me tell you what's been holding me up over the past few weeks.

Two weeks ago, this past weekend, I made the journey from Edmonton, Alberta back to my home town of Vernon, BC. Finally deciding to make the move was not an easy decision to make by any means. I had made a life in Edmonton over the past seven and a half years. I had a routine down, I had friends, I knew the city pretty well, had a job - albeit a dead end job.... I know in the past I've cut Edmonton down by calling it Deadmonton, Hellberta.. I've bitched about the weather and how cold winters can be... I've crabbed about how the pot holes in the streets tend to swallow cars... I've mentioned that the streets are dirty long after snow disappeared.... I've not been a fan of Edmontonians that seem to mirror their cold weather. I needed a break from it all...

The trip from Edmonton to Vernon was fairly un-eventful. No accidents to report. The road conditions were clear for the most part - except at the summit where the plow made the road washboardy bumpy. We came across a few herds of Bighorn Sheep and only had to slow to a stop for one of those herds as they stretched across the road. There were sheep of varying ages, some with tiny baby horns to the full out majestic rounded horns of the elders of the herd. I was disappointed when I missed an amazing photo op.... The alpha male of the herd stood at the edge of the highway protecting his "sheep-le" that were behind him grazing. He reminded me of how Bambi's father was depicted in Bambi. The Bighorn Sheep were the memorable part of the trip, for the most part, except when we passed the Welcome to British Columbia sign signalling that I had made it back to where I belong. (A few pictures were posted here on my blog.)

So, let me tell you what I've traded my Albertan life in for.... Essentially, I am pulling a "George" from the TV show Seinfeld. While I'm not a short, portly, balding, unemployed man with glasses living in my parents' basement... I do bare two of the characteristics... I'm unemployed and living with my parents again... I moved out for the first time at the age of 19 and now, 10 years later - I feel like a George. In the harder economic times, I know I'm not the first person to move back in with my parents, but that bears little comfort for me. I won't rag though, I know some people don't have the option of family to fall back on. I'll try to put as positive a spin on it that I can.

I'm back in BC where I belong. I will be a BC girl until my ticket gets punched. Driving through the mountains, that the tall buildings of Edmonton seemed to cover the absence of, was the first thing that settled me back into BC life. Lakes were the second thing I missed. Lucky for me, my parents just moved into a lake front property right on Okanagan Lake. (Maybe this summer I'll attempt to find and wrestle the Ogopogo! Tee Hee.) The scenery is beautiful, the sunrises and sunsets on the lake... One morning the lake was steaming, it was quite a sight. I've been out on the deck at night and heard the coyotes yipping to each other. (At first I found it unsettling, it sounded like a bunch of people cheering.) Also while out on the deck at night, I saw a beaver's fat bum kind of waddle and splash into the lake. I watched him swim under the neighbours' dock, then back to ours then out into the lake back to his family. I've seen deer tracks in the snow of my parents' lawn as well as actual deer. My family is here, and God love 'em... We're going to drive each other mental! (But it's nice to have them around to drive me nuts!)

One of the downfalls is that I haven't been employed in about two and a half weeks.... Boredom mixed with feelings of guilt... Gnarly combination. Vernon is a smaller center and finding a job here, that doesn't include flipping burgers, is very competitive... You may have heard the line "It's not what you know, it's who you know." Vernon seems to be the epitome of that statement. I am more than qualified to push paper, but I haven't lived in Vernon for 10 or so years... So I really don't know anyone here, other than family of course. Most people that I was friends with in the area, have moved on to other areas of the country, so count that out.

My parents live out on the Okanagan Indian Reserve on the outskirts of Vernon's West side... That makes for a 25-35 minute drive from home to Vernon's actual city limits.... My parents both drive standard transmission cars... I've had a valid drivers licence since I was 16, and even took driving lessons at 16 on standards... Over the last 10 or so years, I have fallen out of practice... (So I've been practicing on the back roads and haven't stalled once! YAY ME!) So we go into town with a mission, like looking for work, restocking groceries, an appointment or visiting someone.... There are a few places I would love to snap pictures of to cure the boredom, but until I am comfortable behind the wheel, they'll have to wait.

So, that's what I've been up to while I've been neglectful of my blog. I didn't want to be whiny and drive anyone away from reading future posts. I promise I'll get back to my old jaded self and make an effort though!

It's not always about me; and I still cringe when I pass a loaded logging truck... I must be back in BC!!!

Monday, 8 November 2010

Familiar Distance: Family Taking the "Fun" Out of Dysfunctional

"Let me ask you this about this life we live

And let me try to swerve some of this attention you give

To them distant ass relatives over in Hampton and

If they really miss you so much

Why don't they just call you then?

If you wanted blood, would you still have love?

Or in fact does the blood make you think you have to love?

Look I probably love my family more then anybody here

But my homies are family too
Third cousins get outta here"

- Homies by ICP (Insane Clown Posse)

I've got family all over the place. My family stretches across most of Canada - predominantly in BC, but there's some in Alberta, Ontario, and Quebec too... I've got some down in the US of A - in Texas, North Carolina, Maryland and a few other places as well. I've got family over seas - Australia, Norway, Switzerland and Scotland just to name a few. These are just the places I know about, I'm sure there are more blood relatives out there in various other places as well. Family is one of the most important things out there... But where do you draw the line when it comes to Family Loyalty?

Family dynamics have always perplexed me... I dig that certain people just don't get along, blood or not... My brother and I are the perfect example of that... If we were getting along, my parents thought something must be up... Guaranteed though, if someone did something to my brother... I'm 99% sure I'd want to kick their asses... There's an unwritten rule in my mind, I'm the only one allowed to talk shit about my brother, and I'm the only one allowed to stomp on him... It's my right as an older sister. I'm sure my brother would agree from his side of the story, and say the same thing... He's the only one allowed to hate me and talk smack about me... The less we see of each other, the better. Siblings, still putting the "fun" in dysfunctional....

Parents... Yeah, some people hate their parents... (Some you can't blame, they've got reason to hate their parent(s) - others are just spoiled brats who dislike because their parent(s) had the gall to use the "N" word... as in NO - not the bad "N" word.) I've always had a decent enough relationship with my parents... I didn't always like them, but they never gave me reason to go all "Menendez" on them. Some days I'm sure they understood perfectly why some species ate their young. I still remember the day it dawned on me, "Hey, Mum and Dad aren't big, fat idiots after all." I'm sure they remember it too, or at least marked it on the calendar. Parents - the originals in putting the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Grandparents... Who can say a bad thing about their grandparents? Some can - I'm just not one of them... I knew all four of my grandparents... They were all cool... They'd get me all spun out on sugar... Slip me a couple bucks here and there.... Gave the rest of the family a place to meet up and visit... I think Grandparents invented the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Aunts, Uncles and first cousins... I was fortunate enough to have 8 biological aunts (2 sisters for Mum, 6 for Dad) and 3 biological Uncles (1 bro for Ma, and 2 for Dad). In all, I've got 20 cousins... Those 20 cousins produced 4 second cousins... There was never a shortage of kids to play with over the holidays - until we got older, moved away and didn't get home on the holidays. Aunts/Uncles/Cousins - the reason "fun" is in dysfunctional.

Anything other than my parents, younger brother, grandparents, and a few aunts, uncles and cousins.... My loyalties can't be counted upon. I know is sounds harsh, and I honestly wish nothing bad on the extended family.... I've just noticed some stuff over the years... Since my Grandpa passed away in 2001, I've noticed his family has become more withdrawn from our sector of the family. My family from Texas will come to Canada, and go to Vancouver Island where Grandpa's older brother and sister live.... Do you think they stop in the Okanagan to see my Grandma, Mum, Aunts, and Uncle? I don't recall hearing about that visit... These people are each other's Cousins/Aunts/Uncles/Nieces/Nephews. It's not like they are distant relatives that have never met. It aggravated me, I've come to terms that the "fun" isn't there....

My Dad has an Aunt who has lived in Edmonton for years. Since I moved here in May of 2003, I've seen her maybe 3 or 4 times... The only reason I did see her the 3 or 4 times is because when my parents came to visit me from BC, we went out for a few hours to visit her as well. If it weren't for my parents, I doubt I'd ever have seen her. My Mum's cousin's family live just outside of Edmonton... The Cousin's granddaughter was pregnant and they were going to come to Edmonton to do some shopping and made mention of meeting up for lunch or something... It never happened.... The cousin got sick and passed away suddenly and that was the end of that. Back in September, I did see my Grandpa's brother's granddaughter. (My 3rd cousin??? I'm not even sure how the labelling works...) At any rate, she's a sweet girl and brought her 6 month old son out to Edmonton to visit her Dad.... If it wasn't for Facebook, I doubt I would have seen them at all.... I noticed in her status that she was boarding a plane and was heading out this way... I asked if I would be getting to see her and her boy. It took her Mum pointing out the fact that I asked her on Facebook to get the ball rolling... Taking the "fun" out.

I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but if that's how they want to be - fine! Let them, I'd love to get to know them better, hang out and maybe become friends as well as family... More allies in this day and age, the better. If they aren't interested, there's not much I can do... Except turn close friends into family.... I've got a close friend that I call my sister. She's got one son that I refer to as my nephew and he calls me "Auntie Lauren". I've been "adopted" by her family and I consider them my 2nd family. I'd probably step up to bat for them faster then some of the people that I am blood related too.

What's my point... Sometimes I forget even... I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can't pick your family... You can pick your friends... And sometimes, your friends come before certain members of your family... Who you going to help move? Your best buddy in the whole wide world? Or your third cousin you haven't seen since y'all were 10 years old? Who you going to call to pick you up from work if your car breaks down? Best pal in the world? Or someone who won't come see you under any other circumstances?

It may sound like I'm bitter and promoting hate or resentment... But I guarantee I'm not. I've been bitten by the Genealogy bug and want to trace my family tree as far back as I can... I've even got family from Norway on my Facebook. When I was in Whistler working the Olympics, I managed to get a few days off in a row. I jammed to Vancouver and Victoria to see family. I saw my Dad's younger brother, his wife/my aunt, and both my cousins in Vancouver. I then went to Victoria, saw one of Dad's younger sisters and two of my cousins... I also went and saw my Grandpa's older sister and brother, that were mentioned earlier on, and one of Grandpa's younger sisters. I'm not a hater... I made the effort....

It's not always about me; is blood really thicker than water though?

It's Not Always About Me