More Frightening Than Halloween

I was originally going to write about why we celebrate Halloween, it's traditions and history..... But I've decided against it... I figure I won't bore you with it, because chances are... If you wanted to know about all that, you'd've already googled it and found out by yourself... Instead, I'm going to write about something that outraged and scared me more than any Halloween prank I've witnessed... Graham James....

Graham James was a coach in the Junior A Hockey league and for the WHL, he was also a scout for the Winnipeg Warriors. In his hockey coaching/scouting career, he sexually assaulted some of the players he was responsible for coaching, including former NHLers Theo Fleury and Sheldon Kennedy. What deeply concerns me is, in 2007, James was granted a pardon from the Canadian National Parole Board... This was after his conviction and incarceration on reportedly 350 charges of sexual assaults. After his pardon, he relocated to Guadalajara, Mexico, where he used his middle name of Michael and was allowed to live a "normal life" working for a Montreal based Internet company.

I had already read Sheldon Kennedy's book, Why I Didn't Say Anything: The Sheldon Kennedy Story, so I had an idea of the deep affect and destruction that James' actions had on his former players and abuse victims. (I had become aware of the book after Kennedy's appearance on Oprah to spread awareness of sexual abuse. The book was later made into a TV movie.) Then, last night, I saw the Fifth Estate that featured Theoren Fleury and his story, obviously including Graham James and the affects it had on his life after. I have yet to read Fleury's book, Playing With Fire, but judging by the Fifth Estate and Kennedy's book, both men had similar stories. Both battled drug and alcohol addictions to numb the pain of the abuse they withstood. Both also battled sexual addiction - a side effect they linked to proving they weren't gay, a stigma of the sexual abuse at the hands of their coach.

My blood ran cold when the story shifted from the focus on Theoren Fleury to James. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Graham James receiving a pardon.... What the hell is wrong with that picture? Is it just me, or does everyone else see the fact that there is something seriously, seriously wrong with Canada's National Parole Board? How can a man so sick and twisted be allowed out of prison in the first place???? If he had abused my son/child and I heard he was being released from prison... I don't know how I'd react to be quite honest... Vigilante justice comes to mind... But I don't think that would have solved anything enough to have taken place... But I still don't think it would have ended well for James... I'm sickened and outraged that he was able to breath one breathe as a free man after that though... There is a special place in hell (and prison for that matter) for people like Graham James.

I haven't heard much about Sheldon Kennedy recently, but last I heard he was well down the road to recovery. He had given up boozing and drugs and has a family life. I'm not sure if he's been able to forgive James', but it really isn't my business. If last night's Fifth Estate was accurate, Theo Fleury is also well down recovery's road as well. He, too, has given up drugs and booze, and is in the family way. Fleury was asked if he had forgiven, or could forgive, James. I wasn't surprised when he responded "No".

Just recently, as in October 25th, James was taken into custody in Toronto's Pearson Airport. Nine more charges of sexual assault are waiting for him in Winnipeg. I hope this man never sees the light of day again as a free man. I hope he doesn't "accidentally" get let out into general population.... Just sayin'...

It's not always about me; but in this case I saw red... and it honestly had nothing to do with me...

A Million Little Pieces of My Friend Leonard

James Frey & Oprah

A few years ago, author James Frey made an appearance on Oprah. On the show, he took the heat from Oprah, her audience and the public about how factually honest his books, A Million Little Pieces and My Friend Leonard were or were not. Many were disgusted and felt deceived, some bookstores pulled the books from the shelf in order to add an Editor's Note & Author Apology for the validity of the Memoir notation, a lawsuit settlement was reached for those who felt betrayed enough. (1,729 readers were refunded the price of the books). The Author was pretty disgraced. Shortly after his appearance on Oprah, I went and bought the books in spite of the controversy. The books sat on my shelf unread for about 3 years, not because of what happened on Oprah, but because the stories between the covers were too close to home at the time to read.

I chose to read a Million Little Pieces first. It seemed like a logical choice being that the story was about how James Frey met his friend, Leonard. The story takes you from the addict filled streets, to rehab, and eventually recovery from an addict's point of view. It tells of physical and emotion warfare and violence. It tells of institutionalization - rehab and jail.

I read the book as though it was a piece of fiction. I don't doubt that there are certain parts that are factual. I know the book had it's fictional points as well. (I haven't had to battle my own addiction with anything harder than cigarettes. But as someone who has watched other people in my life battle their own demons - Fictional, factual, or a combination of both - the pages of this story are real. It may not have been 100% James Frey's true story, it comes close enough to the addict in my life's reality. Drugs, violence, stolen money, time, and health, rehab and jail - I hope they reach recovery.)

After I finished A Million Little Pieces, I needed a break and read a book or two in between. About two weeks after finishing, I began My Friend Leonard. This book was a lot easier to read, it was less about the dark side of addiction and more about the light of recovery. It still tells of the struggle against addiction, but from a recovering addict's perspective - not a junkie's. The book tells of the relationship between Leonard and James, after rehab where they originally met. It takes you along for the journey from city to city, experience to experience. It was a good book, just as A Million Little Pieces had been, just less scary. The last ten pages took me half an hour to read because I was crying so much. It was a lovely tribute to a friend, that quite literally thought of the author as a son.

James Frey

If you feel the need to shun James Frey for not being entirely accurate in details, that's alright. If you read the book and feel the need for a refund, that's your prerogative. How many times have we all told a story and filled in the blanks with grandiose embellishments to make it a little more interesting. It may not happen to often, but how many times have you woken up and not remembered what you had done the night before... Only to be told, and how are you to know if the other person's recollection is 100% accurate. Mind you, none of us had the kahunas to put the story of our life in book form and pass it off as 100% true. (I agree, the disclaimer should have been in the book in the first place... It shouldn't have taken a huge scandalous Oprah presentation to get the truth out there.) All in all though, I am glad I bought and read both books. They are still well worth the read, and may be they should be used as an Anti-Drug campaign? Just a thought....

It's not always about me, and I am thankful it's not.

The Juice Was Loose... Then They Cleaned Up The Mess : 15 Years After OJ

Taken from Wikipedia

On October 3, 1995, shortly after 10 AM, OJ Simpson was found not guilty of a double homicide. 15 years later, at the age of 63, OJ sits in jail on kidnapping and armed robbery charges. I hadn't realized it had been that long since the biggest let down verdict of the Century, until I was flicking through the channels yesterday and came upon Oprah... Oprah was interviewing Mark Fuhrman. It got me remembering what went down all those years ago.......

I was just finishing 7th grade when the double homicide took went down in Brentwood. I was 12 going on 13 when it all started and I didn't really know who OJ was let alone who Nicole Brown Simpson or Ron Goldman were. In the media circus that followed, I found out pretty quickly who they were. We were headed into summer vacation and shortly after the untimely deaths the first tastes of Reality TV were dished out and it was a bitter meal by the end.

While by the end of summer vacation, kids are usually so bored they're almost begging to go back to school. By the end of that summer, I was so bored and so tired of the OJ drama that I almost raced to get out of the house. It was pretty sad that two people were savagely murdered and just because the prime suspect was famous, everyone wanted a piece of the action, whether it be the police, lawyers, the media, right down to the common folk. It was said that Murder, just like sex, sells. Whether it comes by News, fiction novels, true crime books (Ann Rule for Example), or fiction TV shows/Movies, murder will "up" it's value. It made me sad to know that people were glued to their TVs to hear about those two peoples' misfortune and the grieving families' torturous losses. It made me sadder to think that people were profiting from the deaths as well.

The trial seemed endless. I thought it was pretty sad that Nicole and OJ's 2 kids, Sydney and Justin, would have to start a school year without their Mum. I was heading into 8th grade, that's high school where I'm from, and I was still pretty dependant on my Mum, so I couldn't imagine the turmoil those kids went through. I'd come home from school to a familiar scene, the TV would be on.... It seemed as though no matter what channel you had it on, you'd see Judge Ito's face, or Kato Kaelin, or Marcia Clarke or Christopher Darden's, OJ's or one of the two victims' or their families, or maybe Johnny Cochran or one of the fabled "Dream Team" defence's. I wasn't even involved except for being on the other side of the TV watching what was going down, and I just wanted this thing to come to an end. I can't even begin to imagine what the families were going through.

The drama through out the trial seemed to fuel the media circus of course. The low speed Bronco chase, the "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" line, Kato's testimony, Mark Fuhrman being deemed a racist bigot. I started 9th grade by now and the Brown-Simpson kids started another school year without their Mum. Finally, everyone could see the light at the end of the tunnel as the jury was sent to deliberate OJ's guilt or innocence. I remember the day the verdict was announced... I was sitting in Math class, hopeful they'd convict, but in the back of my mind I knew they wouldn't. The class went silent, the teacher stopped mid-lesson and we turned the radio on low... Not Guilty was what came back, and the sound of cheers from the classrooms below rose almost like an explosion.

I was shocked and pretty sick... Juries wrongfully convict the average citizen on way less evidence than the mountain they had on OJ. Here's a guy who has been known to have a violent past with his ex-wife, had all these bright flashing arrows pointing to him evidence wise, and he got to walk free. If you look Nicole Brown Simpson's biography up on Wikipedia, it plainly states "She was murdered at her home in Los Angles, California, US along with her friend Ronald Goldman by her ex-husband, O. J. Simpson...." Being that the verdict came back not guilty, I think that's a ballsy statement but I'm sure the wording is the least of OJ's problems. In his civil suit, OJ was found liable for their deaths. A small feat no doubt.

Here it is, 15 years later, and OJ is finally rotting in jail. It may not be for the right crime that most believe he committed, but at least he's where he belongs. It's too bad that two people had to lose their lives and he has barely compensated as per the Civil Suit ruling.

It's not always about me; I'm not the one who set The Juice loose!