Don't get me wrong, I thank my parents for having me...... But if they're expecting grand kids from me, they'll be waiting forever I think.... If I had kids now-adays.... I think I'd wind up in jail....
Here's my story. I was born first of two kids, just me and my two and a half year younger brother. I was second of ten grand kids on one side of the family and seventh of fourteen on the other. I had a lotta experience with kids growing up. (It's not like I was an only child sent to Swiss boarding school at the age of seven or anything.) I babysat on a fairly regular basis from about the age of 13 on. Kids in my care were a variety of ages from about six months old to about ten years or so. So, between cousins, other family members and babysitting, I've witnessed quite the scope of age, intelligence, behavior and attitude of kids.
Back then, I had the patience. Babies were cute, toddlers were hilarious, newly school aged kids were awesome to watch when they learned something or told you stories of school etc, and even the older kids were cool to watch as their personalities developed. These thoughts still ring true for me today..... As long as they aren't my kids.... Small doses I guess, and it's always better (for me anyhow) when you can hand the kids back to the parents to deal with.
I have three nephews (Non-biological - kids of my two closest friends), a couple younger cousins (Under the ages of five and ten) and a couple of my cousins have now had their own kids as well. Whenever I need to be reminded why I don't want kids, I just call up a friend or cousin and have a chat with them. One of my nephews is playing his divorced parents against each other... Well, he was trying to until they caught on to his little game. He'd tell mum one story, and then he'd tell dad an opposite version of the story. (For example, dad's friend Rick is teaching me piano. But when he talks to dad, it's Rick, a guy mummy works with, is teaching me piano.) This brings me to my next point.........
Kids these days are smarter than I remember being back in the day. I'm sure it has something to do with different teaching styles and the accessibility of information on the Internet/TV etc. Whatever the reason is, its been dually noted. I've had conversations with my almost ten year old cousin over the past couple years, and I remember thinking, my GOD, was a stupid when I was your age? I like that. Smart kids are awesome! That's friggin' rad as heck! I don't know if this makes me "old" but kids now a days, HUGEEEEEEEEEE attitude problem. Yesterday, I was outside a bar having a conversation with a friend. She was having a cigarette, I've quit. Shortly after my friend lighted her smoke, two attitude ridden 15-16ish year old little girls walked by and asked me for a cigarette. I looked at them and asked if they saw a cigarette in my hand, to which they replied no. (So why would they ask me and not my friend who WAS smoking? Duh girls, duh!) They turned around and gave me attitude saying it was a yes or no answer question and they thought I was very rude and ignorant.... Again, every bit of restraint... Especially being that their clothes were "designer" and probably more expensive then mine. Two questions, where are the parents on that incident, and why the hell are you begging for? Go home and do homework ya l'il bitches!
IF I were to have kids, I'd have a three strike system, just like the prison I'd be sent too. You do something once, I'll sit ya down and tell you why it was wrong. Do it a second time, I'm probably gonna yell at ya, remember? I already talked to you about this stuff once before? Third time your ass is grass, and I'm the lawn mower.... You're gonna get a good old fashioned whack across your ass...(By some people's standards, smacking your OWN kid on the bum is abuse. Imagine if a parent LOST it and smacked them 5 or 6 times... That'd probably constitute as a beating.) If I have to chat with you too many times after you've been "whacked", you might as well get the police on the line, because I'm about to beat your ass and gonna enjoy my "vacation" in jail. If you think the good old "I'M CALLING THE KID'S HELP LINE!!!!!" is a good course of action, doubt it, buckle your seat belt kiddo, I'll take you directly to them, have fun in Foster care, I give you a week tops before you beg to come home.
Bottom line, I just don't have the energy, financial stability or the patience any more to raise a child.... And I haven't found any man that would change my mind. This brings me to another point, I give full credit to ANY single parent, whether it's the mother or the father with the face time with the kids. I don't think I could do it with the support of a mate, anyone who can - a hero you are in my books.
Big old IF I had kids, and they survived their childhood, they better not blame me for anything, because I'm having none of that crap... "I'm the way I am because my parents beat me" or "It's my parents fault, they didn't love me enough" or "It's not my fault, I didn't ask to be brought into the world! Therefore it's your fault I'm a screw up!" Give me a frigging break! I am so sick and tired of hearing, "Where are the parents?" or "It's my parents' fault, go talk to them!" If I got into trouble, say for this blog, I wouldn't blame my parents! Why? BECAUSE I'M (almost) 29 YEARS FREAKING OLD! THAT'S WHY! People now a days need to take responsibility for their action(s). I didn't write this particular rant because my parents beat or neglected me, or denied me anything. I did it because I have a brain in my head and can think for myself, that's why!
As mentioned earlier, I've got a younger brother. We are polar opposites. He was always popular and athletic. I was shyer and not as athletic. (He could eat like a refugee at Christmas, walk around the house and not gain an ounce, me on the other hand... I smell that shit and gain five pounds in 3.2 seconds. He could sell you swamp land in Florida, I couldn't sell you a rain jacket in a hurricane.) We were raised in the exact same house hold, with the same parents, same rules etc etc etc. Ask either one of us who had it better growing up, we'd each say the other did. Here it is 26 and almost 29 years later, we're still polar opposites. Neither one of us are angels, but he's a little more bad ass than I dare to be. When people ask "Hey, how's your broski?" and when they hear the latest, it takes every fibre of my being not to smash the person's teeth down their throat when they say anything along the lines of "Well, I guess your parents' dropped the ball there hey?" or "What's wrong with your parents'? Where were they during this?" Sorry people, my brother is 26 now. When should he be held responsible for his own actions? I thought he was considered responsible of that by 18? I could be mistaken, if you really need to ask me that when he's 26. Maybe by 30, 40 or maybe even 50 you'll consider him an adult and not blame my parents for his screw ups.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't blame the parents for anything, just saying don't blame them for everything. Get the Addicts that neglect their kids because their own chemical dependence is more important than rent, food or clothing. The ones that honest to God beat their kids or do worse to them. Go see the parents that couldn't be bothered to give a crap about their kids, where when the kids don't show up at home, it's an honest relief that they don't. Go rage out at the parents that have four kids and every single one of them is obese because the parents couldn't be bothered to cook a meal, but are on a first name basis with the kid working the McDonald's drive thru. (Once in a while's OK, but come on now!) We can't have it both ways. It's the parents' fault if the kid (at any age) is a reject. ("Little Ricky's in juvy again." "Well, what do you expect? His mum's a floozy and his dad's a drunk!") The kid is a success story "in spite" of the parents. (Shania Twain for instance, her parents died and she had to play mum, she got famous and successful "in spite" of her parents deaths. Or someone becomes a highly sought surgeon "in spite" of his crack head parents. So and so is now a famous actress "in spite" of her father bouncing out've her life before she was even born and her mother being a hopeless drunk.) Oprah had a hard up bringing... Isn't she a trillion bazillionaire? Don't you have to be living under a rock not to know who she is??? I'd say it depends on the individual's perspective... Oprah could've become a drug abusing hooker because she was abused as a child... She didn't... She took the high road and bettered herself. Love or hate the woman, she earned where she's at.
So, if you don't see by this conflicted little rant, I am not so much cut from the parental cloth. I love kids, and heaven forbid you hurt a kid.... But as for being a parent... It's just not on this girl's agenda.
It's not always about me, but you caught a rarity where it is....
No comments:
Post a Comment